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let's see if I can keep up with this, shall we?
[ day 01 » your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is. ]
wow, I'm not in a relationshipdid you really expect me to be I'm disappointed in you good sir, and I guess that every single life is the same - or at least, if you're a person like me. pretty much what I do is drown myself in pictures of attractive actors, British shows, and continue being that foreveralone loser that looks like she's a lesbian mormon. not that I have anything against lesbian mormons!
is that a thing?
I know nothing about religion, sorry--
anyway, since single life is pretty boring, I can talk about my past relationship.
no, no, it's fine, I don't really get upset about it too much anymore!
not that anyone would be concerned about that ehehehe-- poo.
anyway, I actually never met him.
I was going to this summer.
he lives in texas.
my grade.
and don't get me wrong- I was happy. he was really adorable and sweet and all 'a that.
but... it's the reason why friendship is one of the main things that I look for in a relationship now.
it got to the point where unless something bad happened to either one of us or one of our skype friends, all that our texts would consist of was how much he cared/how much I cared/wannabe half-roleplaying kissing.
it finally got pretty pathetic, I'll admit.
but at first - during that honeymoon period - I was so happy. for the first time, the guy that I liked actually paid attention to me, and - get this - actually seemed genuine and actually asked me out.
I know, right?
once-in-a-lifetime oppurtunity right here.
I'd stay up really late, risking my neck to text him.
I'd text him as much as possible throughout the day.
I'd skype him whenever I could.
then he seemed to start... drifting away. I started getting completely heartbroken - yeah, me that time.
heh why am I pretending like that's a surprise I'm almost always the heartbroken one.
I noticed this and sent him a message telling him all of that, and since I didn't know how to deal with it otherwise, I pretty much told him that we were done.
he managed to talk me out of that decision, and it was honeymoon time again.
shortly after, my roommate from camp came to visit, and so I could keep my laptop and phone and everything because my parents let me stay up really late if friends from far away come to visit. those few nights I'd stay up until almost 6 video chatting with him, especially after my roommate retreated to the air bed on the floor.
after a while, it started going downhill again.
that time, it wasn't him- it was me. it was when I figured out about my dad, when a bunch of band shit started happening, when I had a streak of crying every day. it was stressful, and I started retreating into my cold shell again.
I tried to force myself to care for him, because it was obvious that he was infatuated. I didn't want to hurt anyone like- this one person. yeah, let's call him this one person- this one person did. eventually, I remembered that this one person had hurt me by tricking me into thinking that he cared when he really didn't.
I talked to my boyfriend, told him about everything that had happened, and said goodbye.
although outsiders may have thought that we had a perfect relationship, after my dad's diagnosis, I got a lot more mature pretty much overnight. I realized- I didn't trust my boyfriend. I couldn't tell him when something was wrong. I couldn't talk to him about anything except "omg ilu," not even homestuck, which brought us together.
it wasn't something I could deal with. sure, it satisfied the romantic wants, but... that was all. I needed more- not just wanted- needed.
I still do. it's still something I look for when I look for a boyfriend/girlfriend or just a plain friend.
someone that can actually be a friend; someone I can actually trust.
yeah, sure, I hurt him, but please don't send me on a guilt trip.
it's late and the only place I want to go is my bed right now.
[ day 01 » your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is. ]
wow, I'm not in a relationship
is that a thing?
I know nothing about religion, sorry--
anyway, since single life is pretty boring, I can talk about my past relationship.
no, no, it's fine, I don't really get upset about it too much anymore!
anyway, I actually never met him.
I was going to this summer.
he lives in texas.
my grade.
and don't get me wrong- I was happy. he was really adorable and sweet and all 'a that.
but... it's the reason why friendship is one of the main things that I look for in a relationship now.
it got to the point where unless something bad happened to either one of us or one of our skype friends, all that our texts would consist of was how much he cared/how much I cared/wannabe half-roleplaying kissing.
it finally got pretty pathetic, I'll admit.
but at first - during that honeymoon period - I was so happy. for the first time, the guy that I liked actually paid attention to me, and - get this - actually seemed genuine and actually asked me out.
I know, right?
once-in-a-lifetime oppurtunity right here.
I'd stay up really late, risking my neck to text him.
I'd text him as much as possible throughout the day.
I'd skype him whenever I could.
then he seemed to start... drifting away. I started getting completely heartbroken - yeah, me that time.
I noticed this and sent him a message telling him all of that, and since I didn't know how to deal with it otherwise, I pretty much told him that we were done.
he managed to talk me out of that decision, and it was honeymoon time again.
shortly after, my roommate from camp came to visit, and so I could keep my laptop and phone and everything because my parents let me stay up really late if friends from far away come to visit. those few nights I'd stay up until almost 6 video chatting with him, especially after my roommate retreated to the air bed on the floor.
after a while, it started going downhill again.
that time, it wasn't him- it was me. it was when I figured out about my dad, when a bunch of band shit started happening, when I had a streak of crying every day. it was stressful, and I started retreating into my cold shell again.
I tried to force myself to care for him, because it was obvious that he was infatuated. I didn't want to hurt anyone like- this one person. yeah, let's call him this one person- this one person did. eventually, I remembered that this one person had hurt me by tricking me into thinking that he cared when he really didn't.
I talked to my boyfriend, told him about everything that had happened, and said goodbye.
although outsiders may have thought that we had a perfect relationship, after my dad's diagnosis, I got a lot more mature pretty much overnight. I realized- I didn't trust my boyfriend. I couldn't tell him when something was wrong. I couldn't talk to him about anything except "omg ilu," not even homestuck, which brought us together.
it wasn't something I could deal with. sure, it satisfied the romantic wants, but... that was all. I needed more- not just wanted- needed.
I still do. it's still something I look for when I look for a boyfriend/girlfriend or just a plain friend.
someone that can actually be a friend; someone I can actually trust.
yeah, sure, I hurt him, but please don't send me on a guilt trip.
it's late and the only place I want to go is my bed right now.
![Red Winged Angel - [OPEN]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/85402926-1786-47c5-aa82-d6f2e29275dd/dgm3x80-86a9b420-16c9-4103-ae85-c486e8069f3c.jpg/v1/fill/w_311,h_400,q_70,strp/red_winged_angel____open__by_dnataoai_dgm3x80-400t.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.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.t4GcrYbW0N00c4cKnskMIgJvyaz7MoUYmGEeoZcvz8k)
ooc.
is anyone still here omg
I wanna get back into rp'ing but I don't really have a muse for any of my accounts gais help
ooc
hi i'm back <333
still not really any motivation to get on here. I miss all of my friends from camp so much and so I've been swamping myself with time to talk to them in any way possible.
but yeah i'm here.
ooc. -- leavin
u wanna talk to me
I have main.
heeeres-noman (https://www.deviantart.com/heeeres-noman)
I'll probably reply to stuff from there. derp. | 3
ooc.
okay I'm gonna make this quick then duck off of this account again.
as some of you may know, my dad had a recurrence of cancer recently. he had some treatment done which may or may not have helped. for whatever reason they can't check.
he's been having pains lately and we thought that it was his cancer and we got worried because if it was he'd have just a couple months to live.
but it was just gallstones so he's having surgery to get his gallbladder removed soon.
unfortunately that's after our Europe trip because he scheduled a ton of other stuff beforehand.
I'm still extremely worried, especially because we can't judge how successful th
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( i'm not giving you pity, i'm gonna commend you. you were strong enough to see that he wasn't good enough for you, and you deserved more than simple texts. good job, hun <3
p.s. you'd be a perfect girlfriend =u= )
p.s. you'd be a perfect girlfriend =u= )